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Inspiration Mapin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

InspirationInspiration
'Jam is a shorter word than marmalade, yet it spreads just as far.' – Jeremy's granddad.

Well, now that that's out of my system, I better bring this story to a close. I guess I'm only really stalling it because I'm scared at the thought of not actually having a reason to open this rather large Word file. I really should get around to finishing it, though, because… well, heck. It'll free up some time – rather, those times when I can actually be bothered to open up Word and let my fingers buzz away on the battered keyboard of this laptop (this story file, or ramifications thereof, has seen three laptops of mine, I bInspirationin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Vici Mapin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

ViciVici
'The ultimate evil is to leave the company of the living before you die.' - Anonymous

You were probably expecting the title of this chapter to not be Vici, because you probably thought that I would want to 'lure' you into presuming that the silliness of this story means that everything must be parodied or made original.
Well, perhaps I was lacking inspiration for something original. And anyway, there are loads of supposedly original ones out there anyway: Veni, Vidi, Vomit, for example.
I think my problem lies in my lack of reading fiction. Recently, the only books I've read have been non-fiction biographies, New Scientist magazines,Viciin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

VidiVidi
'Without chaos, nothing can exist; without order, nothing can evolve.' - Anonymous

But, the bubble of captivity that you were placed in… it would remain stable so long as The Reader is confident in the character I portrayed…?
Surely you've answered your own questioning statement there: you weren't very good at doing 'a me'. Your arrogance showed through quite clearly, and your lack of control of italics was… facetious and poor, to be quite frank.
"Is this some form of irony?"
"I doubt it, Phil."
"Well… you know: dramatic irony is when the audience knows something the characters don't. When the characters know soVidiin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

VeniVeni
'Without order, nothing can exist; without chaos, nothing can evolve.' - Anonymous

…Is he gone? Good – probably getting tea or something.
"Oh, look. It's The Author. How… inconsequential."
What does that mean?
"It doesn't."
I believe an explanation is in order.
"Didn't I say that?"
No, you didn't.
"…"
…
"…"
Right, yes, well. You see gentlemen: I was busy thinking of an ultimate explanation to everything - a sort of, justification, if you want. I thought long and hard about it all, and I must say it's quite a shocker of an explanation, albeit mostly conspicuous and unintentionally insipid… seemingly uniVeniin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

This title does not exist."I'm sorry, what?"
"Where's the title?"
"Where's the quote?"
"WHERE'S ME?"
"Where's the text?"
"What text?"
"Why isn't there any text up there?"
"Up where?"
"Can't you see?"
"See what?"
"WHY IS EVERYONE ASKING QUESTIONS?"
"Who knows?"
"That's actually a very good question."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Wait, who was that last ellipsis from? I counted four from everyone but me – this is Pit by the way, not Bakura; we seem to be lacking speech citations still – and that last one... Who was it?"
"I think it was the page."
"It was."
"Who said that?"
"Me. The page."
"Eh, what?"
"My, the apropos."
"Does that even maThis title does not exist.in This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Oh FiddlesticksOh Fiddlesticks
‘Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.’ – Albert Einstein

To explain my lack of intervention as an author: I’ve been away.
You see, I’ve been thinking about things… you know - what exactly I’m going to do to finish this book. How I’m going to do it and all that. I’m awfully bamboozled, dare I say.
Let it be iterated beyond exasperation that one should never, ever write or start a story that will ultimately have no, eh, ultimate conclusion or plot or anything. It is not only difOh Fiddlesticksin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

To Meet One's MakerTo Meet One's Maker
'I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared to meet me is another matter.' – Winston Churchill

"So, wait…you're not the main antagonists?"
"I doubt it."
"Then who on whatever Earth we're on, is?"
"I don't know."
"Why not damn it!?"
"Because this book is stupid and uneventful."
"Speaking of stupid and uneventful…are you cured, Phil?"
"…Yes. I am."
"Oh jolly good. Shall we continue?"
"Where?" intruded Bakura.
"…That's a good point."
"Hey Doug," Phil spluttered with interest (don't ask me how he did), "you managed to get in here: how do we get out?"
"Haven't I already beenTo Meet One's Makerin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

V for VignetteV for Vignette
'That which can be thought is not true.' – Hindu Proverb
'I think therefore I am.' – René Descartes

Some of you may have been wondering about the last chapter's title. Well don't. It might damage your health.

"Hello boys," said the almighty man who fell from the sky.
"Err, hello…Doug, if I may."
"You may by such a sobriquet."
"Oh God, he's not going to talk in rhyme is he?"
"I bloody well hope not," ejaculated Pit.
"Let me expostulate on problem gentlemen: one has gotten oneself into such a predicament as to vindicate a vindication of negativity – what does one do?"
"I didn't catch a word of tV for Vignettein This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Pomp and CircumcisionPomp and Circumcision
'Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain consciousness.' – Ray Bradbury

Lately I've noticed a lack of italics in this story's chapters, so to even things up (even slightly so) I shall write this entire chapter in italics. Please excuse this. If your eyes are inclined to flux at such a sight, do pardon yourself from the reading of this chapter. Skipping it though may result in even further confusion in later chapters. In fact, I'm not actually sure why I'm apologising. Not only are you reading this at your own risk, but I'm left shocked as to what on Earth you were expecting. "This Book Has A Lot OPomp and Circumcisionin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

To Abode Stuffs In An Altered LookTo Abode Stuffs In An Altered Look.
'Those who fear darkness have no idea what light can do.' – Katasai Rakshasa
'There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle.' – Robert Alden

One could assume that the couple would find each other absolutely hideous through resumption of eye-contact after much staring at such a beautiful (though mostly under-described room (I'll just blame that on the fact that it's indescribable (though then again, I did place adjectives in its name (oh well, nobody really cares)))) habitat, but you would be wrong. I shan't explain why.
Oh dear, a bracket in a bracTo Abode Stuffs In An Altered Lookin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

To Put Things In Different LightTo Put Things In A Different Light
'Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.' – Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett.
'I was summoned to greet Death with open arms, but I was pushed aside to live forever in his shadow.' – Anonymous

"Shall we traverse?"
"What? Oh, sorry. I was just daydreaming."
"About what, exactly?" inquired Pit.
"Just…just you."
"…but I'm sitting right beside you."
"Well, I know…but sometimes, I need to think about you to truly appreciate how – err – astonishing yoTo Put Things In Different Lightin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Adjourning BottomsAdjourning Bottoms
'Here I sit, instead of sitting there; life holds too many choices!' – Garfield

"Here I sit, instead of there. What does it matter to reality?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, does the placement of my bottom over here-" Phil could tell Pit was starting one of his philosophical rants he has when he's bored and sitting down – "have any effect on reality elsewhere."
"No. It doesn't."
"But what makes you think that? What if, the placement of myself over there meant that a breeze of dust couldn't traverse down the corridors, and so a janitor or cleaner supposed that the corridor was tidy because they didn't look up thAdjourning Bottomsin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Aroused SuspicionsAroused Suspicions
'Don't trust anyone when there's nobody to trust.' – The Author

How exactly can the implementation of query become stimulated? That's like saying an inefficacy to your own cause is a fallacy from another's.
It needs- wait, this is all unnecessary filler, isn't it?
I guess I'll stop now.
That's another thing...what do people mean by 'guess'? How can you guess over something you know you will or will not do? Crazy.

"You know what this is, Pit…"
"…no? Care to enlighten me?"
"It's the Eye of the Storm."
"…explain…"
"Well, we've just been through hell-on-earth and all that, and this story is alAroused Suspicionsin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Would'ya Lik'tuh Supasize Dat?Would'ya lik'tuh supasize dat?
'There are only five great men and three of them are hamburgers' – [given to] Don Van Vliet

THUD.
Phil hit the front desk, head first. In any normal scenario his spine probably would've ceased and crinkled up, as falling 527 stories (as I have now presumed the skyscraper to be) down to Ground Floor's reception desk and slamming head first on it would surely do little but kill.
Pit landed on Phil shortly after, and as Phil was in a shape not too dissimilar to a capital 'Y' (his legs of course protruding up like so), Pit landed softly on his almighty groin. Luckily, Phil's spinal cord was bent out of shapWould'ya Lik'tuh Supasize Dat?in This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TITLECOMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TITLE
'That place is too crowded. That's why nobody goes there anymore' – Yogi Berra

STOP.
Hammer time.

"Phil, where's the door?"
"I don't know. I haven't tried looking."
"I'm tired."
"Me too."
"I think that the door's hidden in the bookshelf; we need to turn a book or a combination of books to 'unlock' it."
"Good idea. Let's try doing that, but with less robotic speech."
"Okay."
"You're doing it wrong."
"So are you."
"Indeed."
The two got up from sitting on their humble behinds and headed towards the previously unmentioned bookshelf. Many of the rooms in this mansion (still thought to be a game –COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TITLEin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Me, Myself, I. Who is that, anyway?Me, Myself, I. Who is that, anyway?
'The important thing is to never stop questioning' – Albert Einstein

"I don't know, Pit…I just don't know."
That was the voice of Phil. He did not know.
"Phil, it's okay."
"What's okay? Okay from what? What's the big deal?"
"You're okay now, that's all that matters."
"Yes, I gathered that – okay from what though?"
"It's over and we're safe now; I assure you that I am me. Look, this is distinctly my penis."
"That's another point: why are we naked?"
"It hadn't really traversed my mind at any point. After all the madness this place has offered us already, Lord only knows what's plannedMe, Myself, I. Who is that, anyway?

Falsehoods of FactFalsehoods of Fact
'Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death' – Albert Einstein

Philip Quinton was crying. His tears were sprawling down his youthful face and onto his lover. He had killed him. He had stabbed him. He was dead. The blood had cooled on his hand and was drying up. He clasped his love tightly in his wretched arms, embracing him close. He was shaking uncontrollably.
He was scared.
He did not say anything for a while, he just held Pit close. He was leaning on the bed; were he not delusionary, he would have been pained by the way his leg pressed hard against the cold metal frame of the hospital bFalsehoods of Factin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Anti-non-un-explanationAnti-non-un-explanation
'The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination' – Albert Einstein

I open my eyes to a bright light; my vision impaired. That smell…that's the smell of cleanliness. I turn to my left, a curtain. To my right, to my right is Pit. But…old Pit…it's, Pit, and he doesn't have wings and- oh God, what is that? His skin. I look at my own skin. A boiling, painful sensation swells to my skin; my skin covered in third degree burns. What? What?
I rest my head back down on the pillow – the ward's empty so I'm mostly alone. To my right is Pit, I repeatedly slur in my head. His skin is…Anti-non-un-explanationin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Raison D'etreRaison D'être
'Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things' – Sir Isaac Newton

"How did you know it was me..." whispered Pit.
"You would never stop reading a book. Never ever. You would have continued and finished it even if it took you all night. You would not have stopped at 15 chapters, regardless of the time." Phil held Pit tightly in his arms.
Pit was quiet for a short moment, compressing closer to Phil; his head in Phil's armpit. He said, with slight vigilance, "...did you enjoy stabbing me?"
"It was the single most unpleasant experience I've ever been through," Phil replieRaison D'etrein This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Dramatic PauseDramatic Pause
'You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle' – Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I FEEL AS THOUGH WE HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH WORD-TIME IN THIS BOOK."
"You know what Zorc, I'm going to have to agree."
"IF YOU DIDN'T, I WOULD HAVE TO DESTROY YOU."

Yes. We are indeed in the vicinity of Zorc and Bakura, our two lovable antagonists that haven't really been identified as the evil guys yet. Will they ever, you ask? Probably not. It's best kept a mystery.
But anyway: it has been made out that they are awfully frustrated, for you see they have had minimal amount of character development and are feelDramatic Pausein This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

Languor Locum EnnuiLanguor Locum Ennui
'Imagination is governed by the human race.' – Napoleon abridged.

Hello? Hell-o? Is this thing on? Ah shit...it is. Pit was right. Now I've got to be careful what I say...think...say...say and think. Wait, where am I? Oh God, should've guessed: huddling on a cosy sofa with Pit, reading a book. What is this, anyway? Armageddon: the Musical? Robert Rankin!? Good God, what the-
"Hello Phil. I was right!" He smiled at me with his killer smile. God, do those lips look so...sensual... "I appreciate the compliment, Phil...but please, do try and restrain yourself." I smiled back at him. I was resting on him. I was resting Languor Locum Ennuiin This Book Has A Lot Of Italics In It

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