Witty Chapter? LARKS VOMIT.

I couldn't think up a witty chapter for this title</u></b>
*Charles is shot.....Charles is shot again.....Charles shoots himself for the third time*- QuintonCharles</b>

It makes perfect sense.

Pit, our angelic little hero has just woken up, with a somewhat startled wake, as to find a giant chocolate bar. Oh wait, it's Phil.....

"Phil, wake up"
Said Pit, nudging the dirt off of Phil's face.
"Urrggh"

Now one may presume that a certain Phil would crack and go mental at the state of what he and his surroundings are, or get angry, more importantly the former part of what I just said, so what stops me? Did you think I wouldn't do that?

"Morning alread-WOAHOLYSHITAKIMUSHROOMSCHEIßE"
"Oh come on Phil; it's not that bad! After all, I do quite like Rocky Road!"
*insert generic gigglesqueal thing*
"Well Pit. What an interesting day this has been so far"
"Indeed I agree"
"Do you know why I'm not going crazy?"
"Why's that?"
"Because the author couldn't think up any good words that would describe my insanity"
"Wow. That's quite an accomplishment"
"Not really....."

Well Pit helped Phil onto his feet, and after some rather erotic brushing off, they walked out the room, leaving the masks to.....stay as one very big unanswered plot addition.

"Where were we going again?"
"I'm not sure Pit....."
"Let's.....let's just keep walking down the corridor"

And continue walking down the corridor they did, to the end of the corridor, and at the end of this corridor was a door, and they opened the door, and they walked through the doorway, and they shut the door, and they looked in the room.....

"Ooooo.....pretty"
"What.....is it Pit?!"
"I believe it's a big ball of confined energy confined within a small confined space and thus creating this pulsating colourful ball of colourful floating ballness"
"Indeed good friend; it would appear to be so"

Pit just stared at the ball.....the big glowing, beautiful, luscious, colourful,
excruciating, shiny, admirable, shapely, slightly, fine, good-looking, magnificent,
lovely, divine, bewitching, charming, classy, dazzling, delicate, wonderful,
statuesque, gorgeous, elegant, angelic, luminous, pleasing, nice, pretty,
marvellous, ablaze, lucent, lambent, admirable, exquisite, grand, comely, sublime,
ravishing, fascinating, splendid, stunning, fair, enticing, pulchritudinous,
beauteous,  delightful, gleeful, florescent,  radiant, refined, appealing, well-formed
and alluring ball.

It was indescribable.

"Hmm, that's odd"
"Huh? What?"
"I see a sphere, and yet.....and yet it doesn't seem spherical"
"Phil, what the fuck"
"No, look deeper, visualise the sphere, now think about the sphere, what does it seem?"
"Not spheri.....cal. Holy sh-"
"-it would seem as if the energy fluctuations from the orb are being disturbed by our presence"
"Since when did you know about this stuff?"
"I didn't. It's the orb, it wishes for us to know more about it"
"Okay, now I'm officially scared"
"Pit, open your mind to the orb.....let it pulse through you and tell you about it.....ignore the cheesiness of what I'm saying....."
"I can, I can feel it Phil! It's reaching out to me, it's reaching out to me! The cheesiness! It's seeping into my veins!"

And that concludes that.

"Pit, it would appear there's something encrypted on the base of this anomaly"
"Oh yes, it would seem to be a riddle, though what it says I'm not too sure"
"I can read it.....as it would appear, it's made up of clichés"
"Oh dear God no"
"Indeed"
"Continue"
"Okay then;

I'm only human; it's the thought that counts,
You live and learn, no rest for the wicked,
Two steps forward, one step back; one step at a time,
That's life,
There are plenty more fish in the sea,
Worse things happen at sea, you're making a rod for your own back,
It could be worse; he's his own worst enemy,
Tomorrow's another day,
No pain no gain, nobody's perfect,
Beauty is only skin deep.

"What does it mean?"
Quoth Phil.
"Err, Pit? Are you okay?"
"....."
"....."
"....."
"Pit? Hello?"

As it was, Pit was, as one would say, in a state of trance. He was too busy staring endlessly into the orb we have come to know and love. He could feel the orb; he could feel its power, what it could do.
Oh no, Pit wasn't power mad, not at all! But the orb spoke to him, and Pit new that what it would and could do, it would happen to him. Because he skipped ahead in the book to find out.
Little bugger.....

"Pit? Are you, conscious?"
"Derp"
"I'll take that as a no"

And on that note, Phil leapt forward and pulled Pit down to the ground, at least he thought he did.
Thud.

"SSSSSSCCHHHHHHHHEIßE"

Therefore Pit must've dodged Phil's grab, and this he did.
However, Pit started to walk slowly, at the rate of half a dead slug, towards the orb. And within no time whatsoever he got within arm's reach of the orb.

Now one may be pondering about how Pit managed to get to the orb within such
a short time at such a slow rate, well the answer to that is; in this field of energy
fluctuation time as a reality ceases to exist. But to explain this
theory would take too long, go into physics that the modern world cannot
comprehend, and most importantly it would take me an extra 5 pages or
so to explain even but a small fragment of this insanity, and considering
that this certain chapter has already increased out of the 2 A4 page boundary, I
suggest it most willingly as to not continue blabbering on about this
subject.
End paragraph.

"Pit, please, whatever you do, do not touch that ball!"
Phil said, with a slight immodesty in his voice.

And now for ease of both the author and the reader, we shall become Pit.

ಠ_ಠ

This orb, it's speaking to me......it wants me to take something from it.....its energy, it's found its proprietor. It can connect with me, but how? Is it alive? Surely it must be.....it can think, therefore it is, right? But it is inanimate other than it's pulsating behaviour and colours, what is this?
This is madness.
But it's saying something to me.....it's, speaking to me, so, it must live? What is it saying?

It's saying that the 10,000th word in this book was the 'it's' before 'proprietor'.
This isn't madness.
This isn't Sparta.
This is one messed up author.

But the riddle? Why clichés? Something simply isn't right, well, something's wrong, that's for sure; I can't understand it, and neither can the orb......the author's even dropped into a state in which his writing style has gone into unoriginal zones! This seems beyond explanation, beyond reason, beyond reality.

I know what I must do.

"PIT!!"

Screamed Phil, as he saw Pit willingly fall 'into' the orb and, as the orb engulfed
him, dropped a tear that, in one sense, was a tear of fright, in another sadness,
and in another, confusion.

For much of a surprise to Phil, the energy fluctuations increased
dramatically from this interaction with the one known as Pit. This
fluctuation of the fluctuations sent Pit flying through the roof of the skyscraper.
This certain fact is a questionable one though, because that would make one
assume that the floor they were on was the top of the skyscraper, but it's
not, resulting in a few more unanswered questions.

The blast of energy also had an effect on Phil; he himself went flying through the
wall (about 2.57 metres from Pit's hole to be precise) and landed somewhat a
distance proportionate to the height of the skyscraper divided by the rate of
which he exited minus the strength of the Earth's gravity, the strength of the wall
in his way and the air resistance from his travels.
He hit a tree.

Bill, the subordinate character from many pages ago, heard what he knew to be
someone hitting a tree at the speed of which someone can go after flying out of a
moderately strong wall around 5 floors up a skyscraper from an energy
fluctuation, minus the wind resistance from their travels.
He knew exactly what type of tree Phil hit.....

The larch.